I try hard not to be a nuisance and to pull my own weight. I'll offer my opinions and suggestions, but when the captain makes a decision, it's time to say "Aye Aye, sir!" and get to with a will to make the plan work.
When acting as captain, I see my position as a coordinator rather than the commander. It doesn't help to snap out orders that the crew doesn't understand or is beyond their capabilities. Planning ahead, coordinating, knowing each person's abilities, and helping them to improve before they are asked to do something, is all part of the job of being a skipper. I want to hear people's opinions, thoughts, and ideas, but, at some point, a decision has to be made, a plan set, and the work begun. If a consensus can be reached first, then that's wonderful and the best way to do things. If not, well, the buck stops here. But, no matter how it's arrived at, the skipper is the one ultimately responsible for the safety and operation of the crew and vessel. They can delegate authority but not responsibility.
When acting as a crew, I like to know that my input is heard, but after that it's my job to implement the captain's decisions and plans to the best of my ability.
My first "love" as a crew person is navigation and strategy (racing). Secondly would be manning the helm, though of course on small crews one is rarely that specialized! :). When cruising, I love night watch standing and am perfectly happy to take the post-midnight/early morning watches.
Recently have bought a C&C 43 and am in the process of refitting her for travels, and have created a boat account here on FindACrew as well, id: 363387.
I have just finished a 2 1/2 month cruise to Alaska and back on my boat, a "shakedown" long cruise as I'm prepping her for a Pacific Ocean race-- a true learning experience in so many ways.